Jare's plight
He lost his job, how do they survive? They could hardly live on his salary at this time, but will she be able get past her fear of childbirth?
Floor Plan by M
“Why are you back early Kamsi” Jare, startled at the swing of the door, dropped her phone in between the old love seat in the one-bedroom apartment she shared with her husband and 5 weeks old baby. Her husband just walked through the door unexpectedly. It is 3pm and he is back home. With lagos traffic he ought to be back by 8pm.
“Did anything happen at work?” She bent over to pick her Nokia 3310 from the worn-out chair she got as a gift from her late mother. The chair is as old as she was, and she couldn’t remember the last time the clothing was changed.
Her mother. Her mother died 3 months ago from throat cancer. She had been diagnosed 4 months prior to her death and the cancer took over rapidly. She could not afford the hospital bills neither could her dad. They had no choice but to let her go without a fight.
“Ma, I can’t carry this chair to new house now” She pouted with her hands folded when her mother asked her to pick one of their living room chairs.
“Jare! Stop being a spoilt brat, you know we are giving out most of our things to you because you and your husband cannot afford it”
“Can’t you buy me a new one?” Her mother turned to her with a death stare “As a wedding gift ma”
Her mother eyed her “If, money was that easy to find why can’t you buy your own ehn? pot you cannot even afford, and you want us to buy you a new one? My friend pick one”.
Ma Suliah, a short woman, the village Cowry bank. She had 3 kids for Pa Suliah. Even though her husband was the town drunk, her strength took her children through secondary school. Jare, her 2nd daughter married their neighbor after taking in for him. The ceremony, swift, had very few guests. They tried hard to hide Jare’s pregnancy from the gossips, if the town knew she was pregnant, they will be disgraced.
“Go and lie down on the bed” Kamsi said as he stood in the middle of the room pulling his tie from his stout neck. It has only been 8 months since he paid her bride price, and his flesh is starting to fill out. He no longer looked skinny.
“Kamsi, talk to me what happened at work? Why are you home early? I haven’t made anything for us to eat”
“Jare, Go and lie down, I am not hungry yet” he said calmly. Jare knew better than to argue. She knows what he is capable of, but she just had her baby, and the doctor advised they wait at least 6 weeks before having sexual intercourse.
“Okay Kamsi” She walked towards the divider in the middle of the Stoic room “You have been patient with me since I took in, but you still have to be careful… I haven’t healed”
“The doctor said 6 weeks, right?” He said as he buttoned down his shirt “Do you want me to go outside?”
“I will lie down Kamsi, I am just saying you need to be gentle, please” What she meant to say was that she wasn’t ready at all. She has been trying to convince herself that what she feels is normal. She still feels so much pain from the delivery. The thought of having another kid scares her now.
She pulled the curtain to reveal their rusty iron bed which held a tiny mattress for only one person. She pulled her wrapper off her chest, folded it into a tiny square and placed it under her pillow. She knew her body had changed despite the lack of a full mirror in her room to show her curves, stretch marks and dark spots all around her body. It has been a while since she wore next to nothing around him. He never judged her to her face but there is something about his eyes that told a lot more.
He touched her shoulder, making her quiver in fear. What now?
“Lay down”
“Promise you will not spill your seed inside me”
“Just do as you are told first!”
She looked at the cot at the foot of the bed to make sure her baby was still asleep. Thanks to God it was. It would take her a whole afternoon to make it sleep again. she turned to him “I will lay down just…” He pushed her on the bed.
She adjusted herself in position as he struggled to pull her pant down, his nails, uncut, dug into her thighs. She could not remember the last time she had been touched by a man, yet she felt some pleasure through the pain. She missed his touch, his kisses, his hugs however, she is still sore from birthing their child. It weighed 15 pounds during birth. It’s head, the size of a real ball tore her vagina all the way up to her anus.
“It’s going to take 6 weeks to heal” She heard the doctor say 5 hours after a train ran over her all in the name of childbirth. On that day she swore never to get pregnant again or allow him to touch her, even though she knew that wouldn’t be possible.
It has been 5 weeks 5 days and 11 hours since that day. She still had a few more days left before he is allowed to do anything but the pain is still there. Sneezing was her worst enemy, and if he had been observant, he would have noticed she hasn’t stopped hunching since their baby was born. Everything hurts.
He flipped her on her belly within the blink of an eye “Kamsi calm down now, I am not refusing you”
He pushed his dick inside her...
“You spilled your seed inside me, I begged you Kamsi” Jare said as she pulled her wrapper across her bare chest.
She couldn’t stand to look at him, she couldn’t bare to stay in the same room with him. How can he be so slow and wicked?
"I lost my job today" Kamsime stated as he laid on the bed, bare chested, clearly satisfied.
"You what?" She repeated. How could he loose his job? Every part of her body became cold. They can barely survive, what would happen now?
Jare ran out of their room to the back of the face-me-I-face-you house that held their only shared bath and toilet, locked herself inside, and squatted over the pit latrine toilet. She looked down at her vagina, fighting back tears, she knew she couldn’t risk having another child as it is, if she tells him this everybody in their family would have to attend a family meeting and no one will take her side. Afterall, Her role is to bare him children and take care of him.
“How do people remove seed from their vaginas?” She asked herself as she wiped her face rid of any tears. She dipped two of her fingers into her vagina. Moving it around to scoop out what was left of her husband’s seed, pulling it out to check what it held. She aggressively pushed 3 of her small fingers into her vagina to make sure everything is out, repeatedly. Times like this she wished they had a decent bathroom with a shower. She could have used water to flush out everything.
Jare could feel so much pain as she dug through her folds. They couldn’t afford to keep this baby talk less about another one. Kamsi’s salary barely keeps.. kept them alive. They had to take loans to pay the hospital bills, and thanks to the contribution of the family, the baby has been able to survive.
She couldn’t possibly give birth to another child, even Kamsi will not react well to the news of her pregnant. If she can recall, he didn’t take the first one very well, shaming her and calling her a prostitute in front of her family, saying the child couldn’t be his.Luckily for her, he was forced to marry her by his mum. But was she really lucky? This is not the life she wanted for herself.